Married couples going at each other has been a reliable source of laughs for as long as I can remember.  The Roepers on Three’s Company.  The Bundys on Married with Children.  The Barones on Everyone Loves Raymond.  When you put two actors who can deliver zingers with deadly precision together, it’s comedic gold.  Which is probably what interested Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman in The Roses, who play the eponymous warring couple in addition to being executive producers.  They knew how much fun they would have with this material, and that we’d enjoy watching them tear each other to shreds.  They were right.

This film is a loose remake of The War of The Roses, the 1989 film starring Kathleen Turner, Michael Douglas and Danny DeVito (who also directed).  (Both films are adaptations of the same novel.)  Like that black comedy classic, The Roses tracks the disintegration of the marriage of Roses, who start out very much in love but drift far apart over time.  If you enjoyed the previous version, you’ll be glad to know that this features more of the same, with cutting insults yielding to physical torture.  (In a fun way, I promise!)  The difference here is that this movie treats the failure seriously, so that when the participants begin exchanging blows, they hit very close to the bone.  As the saying goes, you only hurt the one you (used to) love.

It’s clear from the beginning that Theo (Cumberbatch) and Ivy (Colman) are meant for each other.  Theo stumbles upon Ivy in a restaurant kitchen after storming out of his work party in a huff.  As he tries to calm himself down, he chats with Ivy working on a dish.  The words they exchange during their “meet cute” leave no doubt that they’re like-minded souls.  They’re egomaniacs with no patience for lesser mortals and want to be their own bosses.  When Ivy confesses that she’s leaving England tomorrow for California, Theo is intrigued…and aroused.  After a shag in the cooler, they fly to America to build a life together.

An established architect, Theo easily finds work while Ivy stays home raising the kids.  Ten years later, Theo’s plumb assignment is about to be unveiled:  a naval history museum right on the coast.  Knowing that Ivy buried her dreams to be a homemaker and mother, Theo rewards her with a restaurant where she can play chef.  They christen it with a delightfully appetizing name, “We’ve got crabs!”

The restaurant has few patrons, which suits Ivy because she’s really not a people-person.  (There’s a wonderful throw-away joke about coupons.)  Things change dramatically for the Roses the day Theo’s museum opens, however.  A huge storm pummels the coast, which Theo insists won’t be a problem because the metallic sail clanging away on the roof was designed to move with the wind.  The storm also forces people off the highway to Ivy’s restaurant, including the restaurant critic for the San Francisco Times.  The sudden onset of people and being critically judged terrifies Ivy, who also happens to be stoned at the time.  But she gets through it, proving yet again that sobriety isn’t a requirement of creating fine cuisine.

Unfortunately, the combination of wind and sail proves to be too much and Theo’s museum crashes spectacularly into the surf.  The following morning, while he’s being roasted by video remixes of his reactions to the disaster, Ivy has terrific news to share.  The restaurant critic gave her a splendid review, and Theo is happy for her.  Honestly, the timing couldn’t be better, because they need a new source of income now that Theo is extremely unemployable.  They make a deal:  Ivy will focus on her restaurant while Theo will “sacrifice his dreams on the altar of the family”.  Those arrangements always sound good at the outset, don’t they?

Warning signs appear immediately.  Ivy’s restaurant becomes incredibly popular, causing her to hire more staff, expand and rarely be home.  Theo accepts his new role as “Mr. Mom”, but resents putting his dreams on hold while Ivy receives universal adulation.  Theo, however, refuses to give up on his architectural dreams and channels his frustrations into raising the children.  He’s a fitness nut and gets them hooked on running and nutrition, transforming them into tip-top physical condition.  This conversely turns them against Ivy’s pride and joy, her cooking.  A cunning bit of revenge orchestrated by Theo?  Very likely.

After Theo and Ivy have a heart-to-heart, she offers an olive branch.  She agrees to purchase a seaside lot where Theo can build the family an extravagant home.  As Theo’s imagination goes wild, Ivy is concerned about the escalating costs but can’t say no out of guilt.  (The domicile includes an indoor tree, imported moss and a stove once used by Julia Child.)  But what’s clear is that while Theo stated that he was building the house for Ivy, it’s really a monument to his own ego.  It’s over the top in every way imaginable, including an AI-driven system named “Hal”.

Sensing that they’ve grown apart, Theo and Ivy make attempts to reconnect.  But a disastrous trip to New York and equally disastrous couples therapy session only confirm the obvious.  Theo proposes divorce, which stuns Ivy.  After letting their mutual resentments fly, Theo reasserts his wishes to divorce, with his only stipulation being that he gets the house.  Even though Ivy gets to keep everything associated with her thriving restaurant business, she paid for the house and won’t give it up without a fight.  Of course, you know this means war!

Recommendation

What makes The Roses so much fun is watching Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman play The Bickersons.  Although the movie makes good use of their skills as dramatic actors, their ability to insult each other–as only the British can–makes it an event.  Cumberbatch is a master of blunt, withering sarcasm, while Colman’s ability to be cheerfully acerbic is unparalleled.  Together, they turn the film’s caustic repartee into poisoned darts.  The experience is like watching the finals at Wimbledon, if tennis balls were replaced with verbal barbs.

The movie’s supporting cast provide the bulk of the laughs before Cumberbatch and Colman’s characters become unhinged.  Comedy veterans Andy Samberg and Kate McKinnon are hilarious as the Roses’ stereotypically weird married California friends.  Samberg is a champ at playing befuddled twits, while McKinnon brings her usual oddball energy as his wife.  The movie plays directly to their strengths in having them play colorful sidekicks and scene-stealers.  McKinnon has a monologue where she explains why she wants to have an affair with Cumberbatch’s character, and it’s so wonderfully strange, honest and touching that I’m convinced only she could pull it off.

The witty screenplay gives all of the minor characters moments to shine.  Ncuti Gatwa is a saucy waiter with a very liberal interpretation of love.  Zoë Chao completely steals a dinner party scene when she mistakenly believes that Cumberbatch and Colman are going at each other as a joke.  Jamie Demetriou’s devastated reactions to Chao’s harsh critiques are priceless.  Allison Janney is a delight as Colman’s bulldog of a lawyer–who brings with her to drive that point home.  Even the actors who play younger and older versions of the kids (Delaney Quinn and Ollie Robinson, then Hala Finley and Wells Rappaport) have nice turns as put-upon siblings who metamorphoise into uber-athletic teens.

Director Jay Roach is a perfect fit for the material, a comedy veteran who knows how to get the most out of an ensemble.  After directing three Austin Powers and two Meet the Parents films, he delved into more serious and politically-focused material with HBO’s Game Change, Trumbo and Bombshell.  I hope this movie signals his return to the comedy game, because we need directors like him to remind Hollywood that audiences like to see comedies in theaters.

One last thing:  Disney has done the film a disservice by releasing it under their Searchlight division.  The Roses is a broad comedy in every sense of the word.  (In one scene, Colman barfs in a hotel bathtub.  In another, Colman fires a pistol at Cumberbatch while he throws fruit at her.)  Maybe the fact that the two leads used their normal British accents led Disney down this path, but a pretentious “art movie” this is not.

There’s nothing funnier than watching a married couple toss viscous barbs at each other.  Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman are exquisitely acerbic as British love birds who transform into scorpions.  This is a big screen comedy that deserves to be seen with a crowd.  Recommended.