In case you missed it, this is the movie where Kirsten Stewart has a hairstyle that is a blond buzz cut. Aside from that, I thought this was one of the goofier movies I’ve seen in a while. Unless you appreciate camp. I don’t recommend for a paying audience. Spoilers below (glub…glub…glub…)

The biggest surprise about this movie is that the action in the trailers happens at the start of the movie. Instead of spending 10-20 minutes on character introductions and providing a lay of the land, the movie begins with Kristen Stewart’s character brushing her teeth in a sports bra, only to hear ominous noises and find a menacing drip from the ceiling. Then, all water-hell breaks loose.

The underwater drilling station where Stewart and the rest of the merry crew are stationed has suffered irreparable damage from an unknown source. The remaining six crew members must navigate to the bottom of the ocean and walk to another station where there are rescue pods. Naturally, the African-American crew-member dies first. I guess some things never change!

The movie is an Alien rip-off, where the crew dodge underwater creatures both outside and inside the station. T.J. Miller is around to crack wise, and I was sorry he was killed off before the end, because he was the most interesting character by far. The movie is a cacophony of noise most of the time. Stewart’s voice is so husky I could barely understand her amidst the sounds of pipes hissing, water dripping, and overhead computerized corporate announces, that seemingly came from Wall-E.

The special effects are top-notch, and the eerie underwater scenery is impressive. However, like most movies where humans encounter creatures of unknown origin, these creatures just want to eat the humans. Aside from ET and The Abyss, I can’t remember another recent Sci-Fi movie where the creatures weren’t hungry for a human snack.

While Stewart makes for a striking and against-the-grain action movie lead, why she choose to be in this movie is a mystery. She and and fellow deep sea diver Jessica Henwick spend a lot of time in this movie running around soaking wet in their underwear (see below). I hope the experience of making this movie was more fun for them than it looked. Not recommended unless heckled by the MST3K or RiffTrax folks.

(originally published on Facebook January 26, 2020.)