Dumb Money

Dumb Money

Is there anything more pernicious than a hedge fund?  I’m not a financial guru, but I wouldn’t be off base if I characterized the way these organizations make money for their investors as being destructive.  The news is littered with accounts of a hedge fund buying a company, loading it up with debt while siphoning off profits until the enterprise eventually implodes.  If this is the American dream, please wake me up.

Continue reading “Dumb Money”
The Last Voyage of the Demeter

The Last Voyage of the Demeter

If you’re familiar with the mythology of Dracula, you already know the fate of the Demeter and its doomed crew going into this movie.  The ship left Romania bound for England, encountered fierce storms and a strange man on board and the crew disappearing one by one.  When the Demeter reaches shore, the crew are nowhere to be found.  The ship’s undead cargo, Dracula, wisely disembarked for London long before he could be discovered amidst the shattered remains of the ship.

Continue reading “The Last Voyage of the Demeter”
Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny

Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny aspires to be a satisfying final chapter for Indiana Jones character.  You may remember that Kingdom of the Crystal Skull basically did the exact same thing back in 2008.  That entry introduced a son of Indiana Jones who presumably would take over the series for his father.  Unfortunately, even though that movie was financially successful, it was not well received by the fans.  Alas, the torch was not passed and fifteen years later Harrison Ford is back one last time to close the book on Indiana Jones for good.

Continue reading “Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny”
The Boogeyman

The Boogeyman

As far as horror movie cold openings go, The Boogeyman has a brief yet effective one.  A toddler is crying in her crib while something that sounds like a wet bag of bones lets itself into her room.  A few seconds later, there’s a slashing sound, a spray of blood and the child is silent.  (The movie is rated PG-13, so nothing graphic is depicted throughout the movie.)  Who, or what, killed the child?  The answer to that question arrives soon enough, and to nobody’s surprise it is The Boogeyman.  

Continue reading “The Boogeyman”
The Super Mario Bros. Movie

The Super Mario Bros. Movie

In The Super Mario Bros. Movie, Mario (Chris Pratt) and Luigi (Charlie Day) are two working-class jamokes from Brooklyn who leave their steady jobs to start their own plumbing business.  When they reveal that they’ve put all of their savings into a corny-yet-catchy television commercial to promote themselves (with stereotypical “a-this and a-that” phrasings) I thought, these guys are living the American dream.  They should be commended for doing something so risky, given how most small businesses fail within the first year.  So when their own family openly derides the brothers at the dinner table for being idiots, I was a bit stunned.  Is this the message we really want the future business owners in the audience to hear?

Continue reading “The Super Mario Bros. Movie”
A Good Person

A Good Person

Like many movies about drug addiction that have come before, A Good Person asks for our sympathy.  To my surprise, it got it without a struggle.  It tells the story of Allison (Florence Pugh), a young woman who became addicted to prescription painkillers after a fatal traffic accident.  Physically, she seems fine.  Allison moves about normally when she chooses to and has no visible scars.  Mentally, she’s in an entirely different place.  She spends her days in her house with the curtains drawn, lounging around, conspiring ways to obtain a refill of her expired prescription.  Her mother Diane (Molly Shannon) pops over unannounced, throws open the curtains and shrilly demands that her daughter get her act together.  Nobody ever told Diane that the last thing a drug addict wants is a high-energy pep talk.

Continue reading “A Good Person”
65 Adam Driver

65

65 billion years ago, a spaceship piloted by Mills (Adam Driver) crash-lands on Earth after crossing paths with an unexpected group of asteroids.  His cargo, twelve people in cryosleep, are all killed except one, a young girl named Koa (Ariana Greenblatt).  Mills needs to get both of them to the remaining escape pod before the asteroids hit.  Their journey is complicated by two problems.  First, the two speak different languages.  Mills’ home planet has managed to develop interplanetary space travel but not a universal translator.  Second, the environment is filled with Cretaceous period dinosaurs who want to eat them.  Over the next twenty-four hours, Mills and the only other remaining survivor Koa do their best to navigate all manner of dangerous beasties, big and small, in their desperate journey to their only means of escape before an extinction-level event happens.

Continue reading “65”
Knock at the Cabin

Knock at the Cabin

One fine day, a young girl named Wen collects grasshoppers in a sun-dappled forest near a cabin in the woods.  She’s soon joined by Leonard (David Bautista), a hulk of a man with arms covered in tattoos.  Despite his threatening appearance, Leonard is a gentle giant who helps Wen with her task.  To her credit, Wen remains calm as Leonard’s enormous hands gently envelops a grasshopper.  When he casually states that he and his friends will soon meet Wen’s parents, she notices several people emerging from the trees holding scary weapons.  This finally triggers Wen’s “stranger danger” reflex and she runs to the cabin to alert her parents.

Continue reading “Knock at the Cabin”