Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

As I grow older, I sometimes wonder what the afterlife is like.  Will it follow the Catholic doctrine I was raised in, and be a celestial wonderland where everyone sings hymns and floats along on wings?  While that certainly sounds nice, I suspect I would get bored with it after a millennia or two.  Or maybe the afterlife will be like what Tim Burton envisioned in Beetlejuice, a world where the dead alternate between haunting the living and traveling to a janky bureaucracy.  Call me crazy, but the latter sounds like more fun.

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Blink Twice

Blink Twice

One theory about crime that I’ve latched onto is how criminal activity is driven by the need to feel in control.  Generally speaking, criminals want to control the things they lack.  For example, a wealthy person controls money.  When a person of limited means steals it, they obtain control over the other person’s money.  (I’m grossly oversimplifying “Control Balance theory”, by the way.  Search on it if you’d like to know more.)  Similarly, a person can effectively control another person through a variety of criminal behaviors, principle among them being physical assault and murder.  The latter examples came to mind while I watched Blink Twice, where the desire to control another person, both mentally and physically, explains what we see, if only superficially.

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Trap (2024)

Trap

Serial killers are a fortunate bunch.  While the job does require a commitment to planning, attention to detail and a level of perseverance that few can muster, it’s also heavily dependent upon luck.  Take The Butcher, the serial killer at the center of Trap, who somehow manages his homicidal enterprise in addition to being a devoted family man and a firefighter.  His dedication to all facets of his life is nothing short of admirable.  For starters, The Butcher’s daily schedule must be a logistical nightmare.  He must ping-pong between his home, putting out fires and attending to victims–residing at any one of his covert murder houses–without getting caught.  The Butcher may be good, but nobody’s that good.  Luck is always present to give serial killers a little helpful nudge when they’re so close to being caught.  In Trap, The Butcher is so darn lucky that he must be living the Life of Riley.

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Longlegs

Longlegs

I certainly admire Perkins’ Longlegs, a loving homage to the serial killer genre.  The movie proudly wears its influences on its sleeve, and those familiar with The Silence of the Lambs and Se7en will have fun identifying all of the ways Perkins references them in this film.  Given the movie’s incorporation of encoded messages, I would include David Fincher’s Zodiac in the mix as well.

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A Quiet Place: Day One

A Quiet Place: Day One

Here’s a trick question:  How do the aliens in the A Quiet Place franchise arrive on Earth?  The answer is…we don’t know.  In the sequel and this prequel, all we are shown is streaks of light tearing across the sky.  The assumption is that they arrive in space ships, but neither film gives us any indication of what those look like.  For a typical alien invasion movie, seeing the alien spaceship(s) is the money shot–think Independence Day, War of the Worlds and The Day the Earth Stood Still.  Amazingly, three movies into this franchise, the alien’s mode of transport is still a mystery.

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The Watchers

The Watchers

If you’re an American and are desperately running from your past, where should you go?  To a pet shop in Galway, Ireland, of course.  Given how essential this detail is to the entire story of The Watchers, you would think it would be addressed at some point, but no.  For a movie that is ultimately about the importance of getting the details right, The Watchers rarely bothers to do so.  While it does stop at regular intervals to deliver unwieldy gobs of exposition that explain what is happening, it never concerns itself with why.  It’s a story that insists on giving a perfectly logical explanation for everything, but doesn’t make any logical sense.

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The Strangers 2008

The Strangers (2008)

After learning that the forthcoming The Strangers: Chapter 1 was basically a remake of The Strangers, I thought long and hard as to whether I should see the original beforehand.  This decision was not as simple as I thought it would be, though.  Since most of the commentary I’d read about Chapter 1 described it as being an inferior remake of the original, I had a conundrum.  Would I be setting myself up for disappointment if I watched the original before seeing Chapter 1?  Or would I enjoy Chapter 1 more if I watched it in a vacuum?  I finally decided to see the original so that I’d have a basis of comparison between the two.  If the two movies are that similar, the viewing experience would present itself as a unique review assignment for myself.  This review will focus only on the 2008 movie.  The next one will be on Chapter 1 and will compare and contrast the two.  I hope you enjoy this little exercise!

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Tarot

Tarot

Don’t break the rules.  If you do, there will be consequences.  Horrific consequences.  This simple premise is often used by horror movies because it’s so easy to grasp.  Bad judgment is quickly rewarded with a gruesome outcome.  It also builds anticipation in the audience from the get-go.  Those horny kids who engage in premarital sex?  A maniac will kill them for their immoral behavior.  You played with a Ouija board?  Sorry, it wasn’t just a game and an actual demon has plans for you now.  You cheated death?  Death isn’t happy and will be working overtime to correct things.  You played truth or dare with a stranger?  Tough break because playing games with strangers is just wrong, wrong, wrong.

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The First Omen

The First Omen

For those keeping score, The First Omen is the third movie released this year where the Devil plays a significant role.  Previously, Late Night with the Devil and Immaculate reminded us that Old Scratch should never be underestimated.  What does this trilogy of cinematic devilness portend?  While I can’t speak for Immaculate (which I haven’t yet seen), the two movies featuring Beelzebub have been very good indeed.  Perhaps it’s time for someone to revive the Oh, God! franchise to balance things out.

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