The Substance is a grim fairy tale, a horrific bedtime story with one goal in mind: to show men what it’s like to be a woman and live in fear of the day when they become undesirable.  For Elizabeth Sparkle (Demi Moore), she’s confident that she hasn’t reached her “best by” date yet and tapes her daily aerobics show as normal.  Unfortunately, her incredibly chauvinistic television executive Harvey (Dennis Quaid) decides that Elizabeth is too old and angrily tells a colleague that it’s time to replace her with someone younger.  Elizabeth accidentally overhears Harvey’s side of the conversation, and knows that they won’t be discussing new opportunities during their lunchtime meeting.  Sure enough, Harvey glibly fires Elizabeth while she sits transfixed by the sight of him devouring a bowl of shrimp.  When it comes to men like Harvey, women are the same as food: something to be consumed and tossed away.

There’s something not quite right with the Daltons.  That’s painfully evident from the outset, when they choose to wallow in their own misery despite being in a beautiful part of Italy.  They don’t hide their misery, either, wearing it like an irritating jacket wherever they go.  Ben Dalton  (Scoot McNairy) is morose, while Louise Dalton (Mackenzie Davis) is edgy and controlling.  The two are so clenched around each other I imagined they squeak while walking.  Unsurprisingly, the two have unresolved issues between them that will play a consequential role in what transpires.